


endearments

by orphan_account



Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: (uncalled for) Wingman Aoba Moca, 5+1 Things, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff, Humor, Light Angst, Secret Relationship, This is DUMB, Useless Lesbians, i think, is this funny?, moca is once again a piece of shit, ran hates everything really, ran hates pet names, this is like the second 5+1 fic in this tag im so unoriginal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2020-03-20 18:09:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18997819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Five pet names Tomoe calls Ran, and the one that escapes Ran.





	endearments

**Author's Note:**

> i can't believe i have to carry this tag on my own
> 
> so this has been sitting on my docs for over a year and.. reading it i just felt this overwhelming need to post it. tomoran pet names i

 

 

**1.**

 

_Running to the sunset, our... hearts? No-- no, that's not it..._

 

Biting the cap of her pen, Ran stares at the page in her notebook, half-filled with scribbles and doodles where she's supposed to be writing lyrics, with almost gnawing frustration. Not once she's felt stuck like _this_ —every second that passes looking at the haunting blank space just below the last coherent phrase she remembers writing turning more exasperating.

 

And she doesn't get it-- it's never been that hard for her to write lyrics; hers have always been straightforward—doesn't dress up what she truly wants to say with fancy and overly-complicated words (unlike, certain other people-- that pretentious goth still gets on her nerves). It's always been natural for her to do these kinds of things.

 

So why the hell does her mind seem to squeeze its own braincells to death trying to come up with something she's at the very least _content_ with?

 

Ran reads through the 3 phrases she managed to write last night-- again, and yet again, hoping a supernatural force of sorts gives her back the tune of the song she lost and forgot at 2 in the morning when she fell asleep-- nothing comes. She tries singing under her breath what little she's got, she tries to picture performing the non-existent song on stage, she tries to imagine what her lyrics would turn into if she let that pretentious goth write them for her—but her train of thought stops short when she's back to the lyrics themselves, her mind going completely blank trying to improvise something.

 

Ran stares at the haunting blank space, blinking-- then drawing an angry scribble on the paper. Maybe... maybe she's just not in the mood today.

 

She slams the notebook closed and puts the cap back on the pen, throwing it onto the table as she leans her head back to find some s _pace_ —harsh heat of the sun beginning to sting on her face. She doesn't mind-- she likes summer. She likes to wait for practice outside in the livehouse café, where the sun can bathe her on its light and warmth—irritating, yet... a sensation that makes her feel at home.

 

The little bell of sudden inspiration on her head rings, and her eyes open wide, almost mad at herself. _That_ , that sounds good.

 

She flings her head back to get her pen and notebook, rushing to the page with the lyrics unfinished—writing down like the words would escape her if she doesn't hurry up. This is her chance to get the words flowing—she has to take it, make something out of it, hold onto it before it slips--

 

But the words again stop short, the number of phrases growing to a miserable 5 before she finds herself back in square one, squeezing her brain in vain. Alright-- she'll just try to come up with something with her guitar back home, then.

 

Yet before the blank of the page could even begin to burn into her eyes again, a shadow darkens it down, and a hand takes her shoulder-- stinging from the heat. "Yo!"

 

Ran almost jumps from her seat at the sudden human contact right after she lost whatever focus she had on writing lyrics-- but her heart gleams unbidden as she sees Tomoe beside her, smiling with warmth—like that very same sensation of the sun embracing her and making her feel home. Though she quickly brushes the embarrassing thoughts aside, smiling back at her. "You're early." 

 

Tomoe laughs, and Ran fights to ignore fluttering in her chest as she follows her with her eyes, sitting by her side. "I'll take that as a compliment," she smiles at her again, albeit more flirtingly than anything—but Ran rolls her eyes, probably like a defense mechanism against her charm. Tomoe takes her pen, playing with it for a little while before turning back to her. "So... why so lonely, cutie?"

 

"I've been here for a-- _what_?"

 

Ran swears her senses shut down momentarily, the... _very_  peculiar word almost alien to her ears-- what-- _what_  did she just call her? She stays still, eyes wide open looking at her as if that would confirm her she-- she didn't actually say...

 

But Tomoe keeps looking at her, like nothing had come out of her mouth at all. "What happened?"

 

_Idiot._

 

"How-- what-- what _was_  that...?" She stumbles with her own words, and she hates seeing the way Tomoe's smile widens.

 

"Mm?" She looks at her and Ran _knows_  she's playing dumb because both of them very well know what came out of her own mouth and _very_  well knows how much she's enjoying her reaction. "Ah, _cutie_ ," she said-- did she read her mind? "Why?"

 

 _Cutie_. The word bounces on her head with contempt, the heat on her face turning harsher than summer itself the more aware she is of the stupid nickname. _Cutie_ , how dare she? 

 

" _Don't_ \-- call me by that name ever again."

 

"Eh?" The confusion on her face is almost offending. "Did I say something bad?"

 

_This idiot--_

 

"You-- you _did_!" she scolds-- or she tries to, and she hates how her face is literally burning and she _hates_  this. She really hates this-- whatever this is.

 

"Eeh~?" She hates the _stupid_ smile that grows on her lips. Does she not know when to just... _stop_? "I do think you're cute, though..."

 

She doesn't, Ran figures. She really doesn't.

 

"Just-- just call me by my name, goddamnit!"

  
Tomoe finally bursts into laughter, and Ran can't deal with any more of this-- her face burning, her heart pounding and her mind even more of a blank space than it was before—all because of a stupid nickname. _Cutie_ , the word replays on Ran's head (she hopes) for the last time, and it's then clear on her mind she does not want anyone refer to her like that _ever_  again.

 

* * *

 

 

**2.**

 

Ran hates changing strings—but she just needs to listen to a single chord on her guitar to know it really won't help her writing lyrics.

 

She enters the music shop, albeit reluctantly. She really hates having to do this-- besides the whole process of changing and arranging and testing the strings and all the stuff in-between being already annoying by itself, the thought of just going out to buy them is mentally _exhausting_. Probably... probably because of the very  _i_ _nconvenient_  places in which they seemingly always end up placed.

 

Ran stands in front of the shelf with guitar picks and accessories and whatever else, looking with absolute dread to the packages with the metal strings at the very top of it. Yeah-- screw her height, and screw whoever organizes things in this goddamn store.

 

But she shallows up her pride this once, and with hopes that she _might_  just have grown a few inches taller since last time she came here to buy the god forsaken strings, she gets on her tiptoes to catch her target. Not quite there, her arm reaches out, but the stupid package is only farther than ever. No-- she has _not_  grown a single centimeter.

 

Not giving up yet, she lifts what little her heels can do, supporting her other hand somewhere she didn't bother to look below—but she realizes her efforts remain in vain when she hears picks fall and clatter to the floor and the package isn't even reaching the tip of her fingers. She lets out an ugly groan, hearing the poorly disguised giggles of people behind her back-- _god_ , do any of them have the decency to try and help her out, at least?

 

A hand gets ahead of her own and catches the strings with a lot more ease, and Ran falls back to her heels, given up. _Goddamnit_. It doesn't take her long either to realize that there's only one person she knows this tall, that _also_  goes to this very same music shop. _Goddamnit, seriously!_

 

She looks up at her side to see, indeed, Tomoe Udagawa with the little package of strings in her hands, holding it out for her to take. "Here you go."

 

She stares at the smile on her face for a few seconds, and Ran seriously hates how her face starts to take that all too familiar warmth on a place _so_  convenient. She sighs, trying to blow the heat out of her cheeks—it's Tomoe, it's not that big of a deal.

 

"Thank you..." She takes the strings, giving Tomoe half a grimace before turning on her heel to the counter to go and pay them. She really isn't in the mood to play along.

 

Tomoe laughs behind her. "Anytime, beautiful."

 

Ran stops dead in her tracks. What-- what thing had she called her this time...?

 

She turns her head, one eyebrow raised. "Are you serious?"

 

"Hm?" There-- there it was again! Playing dumb, like she hadn't said a thing. "Thought you didn't want me to call you cutie, so..." 

 

 _Idiot_. Her face is burning all over again. _Idiot Tomoe_. She turns her whole body to face her-- how she hates that _i_ _diot_  smile she wears. "That's not any different!"

 

Ran takes loud steps towards Tomoe, but before she could even unleash her rage on her and erase that infuriatingly naïve smile from her face, Tomoe takes her by the shoulders. "H-hey, chill out!" Ran stops, and that grin of hers doesn't break despite the fact that she's probably radiating anger from just her eyes. "It's normal for couples to call eachother things like that, right?"

 

"Who said we were a couple?"

 

"Uh... you, about a week ago, if I recall correctly."

 

The flush on her face only spreads for worse. "Y-you...!"

 

(Laughing, Tomoe catches Ran on her arms, ignoring her poor attempts to break away. _So stubborn_ , she thinks, as she decides this is definitely something she'll have to do more often.)

 

* * *

 

 

  **3.**

 

 **Moca 🥖:**  see u at the famirez

 **Moca 🥖:**  if ur not there by 3 ill steal ur kneecaps

 **Moca 🥖:**  xoxo

 

Ran looks at her phone, still confused, nevermind the fact that she's already on the dot—right in front of the one family restaurant Moca would go to. She knows Moca loves any sort of junk that can fit into her stomach and she's been quite the witness for it, but Ran hates the vagueness of all this. Moca, inviting her out to eat, literally at the last minute, no explanation whatsoever... it doesn't sit right with her.

 

She sends her an ' _I'm here_ ' back anyway, having only but to walk herself in to find out why the hell Moca would want her there.

 

She spots her at the very back of the tables, looking intently at the counter, where only then Ran notices the long line of people before it, and already things are starting to sound fishy. Moca, not even in the most serious of meetings would she let pass of the opportunity to eat-- what was she doing, sitting there instead of going and order her food before the line got even longer than it already is?

 

Ran walks up to the table with the number 2 hard-printed on the glass, decidedly suspicious when Moca waves at her and she's already too doubtful to return the gesture. "Why call me here so suddenly?" she sits down and asks, right to the point.

 

"Mmm, nothing in particular, actually," she tells her, all too casual. "I was hungry and didn't wanna look too lame eating 3 whole burgers by myself."

 

Her eyes open wide-- alright, Moca's stomach has yet to reach bottom at all. "The things you look me for..." she sighs—maybe she is thinking too hard of it, after all. But Moca looks back at the counter and Ran furrows her brow. Something... something keeps telling her Moca did not come here just to eat.

 

She looks to the direction she so attentively observes, and not seeing anything interesting besides the pink-haired girl attending the long queue stepping out through the door, probably done with her shift, Ran is only more confused than she normally would be of... whatever Moca does. She looks back at her, and not overlooking the way Moca smirks, her suspicions only grow more prominent. "What are you looking at?"

 

Moca spreads her smile a bit wider before turning to her, _all too casual_. "Raaan~," she calls, and Ran prepares for the worst. "How about you go and order for your dearest Moca~?"

 

Yeah-- she definitely didn't come here just to eat.

 

"Weren't you the hungry one?"

 

"I aaam~," she whines, resting her head on the table still looking at her. "Moca-chan's just way, waaay too tired today."

 

Ran rolls her eyes. "Sure, since you live so far away from here."

 

"Line's getting longer~," she points her finger to a non-existent clock on her wrist, looking at her expectantly. Ran sighs—she doesn't even want to bother trying to decipher what the hell is Moca even plotting anymore, she just resigns herself to do her the favor. She gets up and starts heading to the counter, barely hearing Moca behind her. "Order whatever you liiike~."

 

Ran finds her way through, and not wanting to mess up her mind any longer than it already is contemplating... whatever Moca's trying to do, she looks in front of her—just a few people left to attend, and it relieves her a bit; the sooner she can get this over with, the better.

 

But her relief is short lived to see _who_  is attending them.

 

No--  _goddamnit_ , she, her, _Moca_ , for bringing her _here_ , at this exact time of day, in this precise context-- she hates herself for playing along, and god does she swear herself to never to it again if it isn't at least, _at least_  an hour before meeting.

 

Though her curses all vanish into air, seeing as Tomoe is almost done attending the person just in front of her, and Ran suddenly remembers how much she _hates_  that quickness of hers.

 

The person in front of her walks away, and at that moment Ran truly hates her luck as well. "Oh, Ran!" she calls and Ran immediately darts her eyes to the ground, not sure she wants to step forward-- god, how she hates Moca right now. "Now that's a coincidence."

 

Ran dares to look up and she really hates the way her heart jumps at the sight of Tomoe grinning at her. She gives in-- there's no going back now. "Right, huh..." The stupidly familiar warmth on her cheeks doesn't take long to appear, and she looks away, desperate for it to go away at once. Maybe she didn't notice...

 

"Moca came with you?"

 

Ran turns to look at her again, almost instinctively. "Y-yeah, why?" _How did she--?_

 

"She actually asked me this morning when does my shift start, so I told her it was around this time more or less, and she said to me like ' _See you there then~_ '... or something," she laughs, and god-- that Moca impression was way, way too adorable for her own good-- but she's already too busy cursing the girl in question for her to care. See. See, she _knew_  it-- never in her life will she go along with that bastard's antics _again_.

 

"I... I see..." She tries to regain her long lost composure—get something even remotely normal out of her throat in between the mess that is her mind right now-- though the giggle at the other side of the counter doesn't tell her it's working too well.

 

"Alright, which table are you two?" she asks, notepad in hand, and Ran fights with her own mind so it doesn't turn useless on the spot, looking at that _stupidly_  pretty smile.

 

"Um," Maybe-- maybe if she stops staring like an idiot she can think properly. "Table..." she squeezes her brain a bit, just barely remembering the number she saw on the glass before sitting with Moca, and it's then she realizes Tomoe's definitely doing something to her. "Table 2, I think."

 

She hears the pen write on the paper simultaneously, and Ran takes a deep breath. It's just order—the fact that Tomoe is there doesn't change absolutely anything. "Now, what are you guys going to order?"

 

She realizes it's going to be more or less impossible when she looks at her face again-- _this goddamn idiot_. She hates the way she leans into the counter, looking at her with one of those flirtatious smiles her heart can't take—resting her head on her hand and her other free hand fiddling with her pen. _This-- this goddamn idiot...!_  "I, uh..." she turns her head away from her stupid charms-- god, she's being ridiculous. Those were... hamburgers, right? Yeah-- something like that. "Three-- three hamburgers."

 

"Three hams, got that," her sweet tone catches her off-guard, and she swears she's definitely made her dumb by now. Does-- does she not see the large pack of people behind her? Is she intentionally making this painfully slow? What the hell are they playing at? "Anything to drink?"

 

"S-sure, sure" she hurries her answer-how she wishes she's just done with all of this... She looks up in hopes she'd find _something_ , and she quickly decides on a soda special she doesn't even bother to check what it offered. "Two sodas."

 

"The ones from the special?"

 

"Y-yeah..."

 

Tomoe quickly writes down and Ran seriously doesn't know whether to hate her ardently for acting like _this_  in a place like _this_ , or if to thank her immensely for being in charge of things when she knows she's messed with her for too long. She takes the fleeting seconds to regulate the pounding of her heart, and Ran swears-- no, she's sure she's going to come up with something stupid again once she lifts the pen off the paper.

 

"Anything else, gorgeous?"

 

Took her long enough.

  
(And it really doesn't seem to get any better.)

 

"Tomoe, not _here_...!" she mutters, though loud enough for the other to hear and on top of it, laugh. She hates how pretty she sounds, hates how her face starts to burn effortlessly again-- couldn't she just get this over and done with?

 

She stops laughing, thank god. "Fine, alright," she rips the paper off the notepad and just as she's about to turn to pass the order to the kitchen, she gives her a mischievous smile. "You sure you don't want the happy meal or something?"

 

_Hilarious._

 

"Tomoe!"

 

She cracks up laughing again, and she's had enough with the embarrassment she's put her through already. Idiot Tomoe-- Idiot Moca, she's not listening to her again, much less a weekend at 3. "Sorry, sorry," she forces her laughter to die down so she can give her a smile that's supposed to be reassuring—for Ran it's just the cherry on the cake. "Go back to your table, your order won't take long."

 

And not in the mood to be minimally polite, she walks away before the _idiot_  even has the chance to enjoy the _idiot_  face she's surely got right now. She hates how her heart pounds on her throat as she walks up to the table, finding Moca with a smile not that different from Tomoe's—only this one she kind of wants to hit.

 

She sits—or throws herself onto the couch, hoping Moca would notice her crappy mood without the need for words, and naturally drop anything attempt to try talking to her.

 

But she's Moca Aoba.

 

"Sooo, how'd it go~?"

 

And she really hates the fact that she is.

 

"What thing?"

 

"Y'knooow~," she puts on _that_  voice she knows she hates as well. "With Tomo-chin."

 

She _hates_  her, seriously.

 

"Moca!"

 

(Well—Moca-chan only knows she regrets absolutely nothing.)

 

* * *

 

 

**4.**

 

Ran hates admitting it-- the fact that no matter how mentally prepared she is, how much she scratches her fingers trying to build up muscle memory, or how many times she wakes her father up practicing the new song at 3 in the morning, the minutes before a live show would always send her nerves skyrocketing. Not that she'd show it—someone, amidst the disaster that everyone is before stepping on stage as well, should have to appear minimally composed. _Same as always_.

 

It's-- it's just that she cannot stand in front of a whole audience without first reassuring herself with... _something_.

 

The little bear on her hands stares back at her intently, and Ran has to look around to make sure she's completely alone. She sighs—she looks ridiculous doing this, surely, and yet she always finds herself coming back to it; wishing on a small stuffed bear like it was a guardian angel of sorts. And it does feels exactly like one, somehow-- she's not sure what exactly had Himari sewn onto the thing and she doesn't want to find out, but it's got this... strange energy, something that makes everything turn out alright in the end.

 

She looks behind her one last time, and Ran takes a deep breath. Giving one (hopeful) last glance at the little bear, she squeezes it in her hands and, well, wishes the same as always—as soon as she can before someone comes out and sees her like this--

 

But time is decidedly cruel to her-- shooting her eyes open and flinching in fright when a hand grabs her shoulder unnoticed, her lucky charm dropping to the ground before she even had the chance to finish talking to it. And although a good part of her is already convinced of who the lucky one that got to see her in such a state is, she really doesn't want to make the effort to look at them in the face. "You ready, sweetie?"

 

_God, she knew it..._

 

She's not sure what she hates more, the stupid nickname—stupid to the point of attacking her personally, or the indiscreet way it comes out of her mouth. _This idiot--_

 

Ran shoots the palm of her hand to where she assumes it's her face, hitting her right on the lips so she shuts up before she says anything else-- twice as stupid, maybe. It's just as she decides to turn she can confirm it's Tomoe, why of course-- her eyes alternating between her hand and her face, feeling a smile form beneath her hand. What's so funny to her...?

 

...Crap.

 

Her head immediately turns around to see behind her, fearing all too many things at once-- but she finds herself breathing at ease again when she sees Himari and Tsugumi talking, not noticing they're both there. _Geez..._  She turns back to Tomoe—not done with her yet. "Be a little more cautious, will you?"

 

She carefully backs her hand away, and she hates how her smile stays put. "Why?"

 

Her brow ticks-- why the hell does she always pretend to be this insufferably _dense_?

 

"What does that even mean?!" she mutters, and her indiscreet laugh only irks her even more. Ran sighs, giving up—she can only scold her at this point. "Once they find out we're doing this..."

 

"I know, I know," she says amidst her laughter and she's messing with her. Ran rolls her eyes; how was it that she got to fall in love with Tomoe in the first place? She calms down, and Ran can't help but notice how her face softens—her smile shrinking. "Though... I don't see why we should hide it, y'know?"

 

...Oh.

 

It catches her off guard, she realizes—the way her expression picks up the slightest bit of a melancholy Ran rarely gets to see, and the truth in her words feels like a low blow; like Tomoe reminding her of how truly dishonest she's still being with herself after all this time-- that bad habit of hers. It weights heavier on her shoulders the more she looks at her. "Tomoe..."

 

"...It'd be nice," her voice lowers to an almost whisper—Ran swears the whole world quiets itself down for a few seconds just to hear her alone. "Being with you without having to worry so much."

 

Her eyes never break away from hers. She really is the worst, Ran thinks, looking at Tomoe like the treasure she knows has always been to her, yet has never let her know that she is. They've all been a treasure to her; Moca, Tsugumi, Himari too—the guilt of keeping them in the dark about something as important as this is to them both weights too much on her shoulders-- it always has. And she does love her; the thousands of ways Tomoe makes her feel she can't even explain herself-- but Ran holds them all dear to her heart, like a treasure. She loves her, Ran realizes, Tomoe's words and truths echoing on her head—why hide it from the people she also holds dearest to her heart?

 

...She realizes soon enough too that a good couple of seconds have passed staring at her like an idiot during her little introspection, words dying on her throat as Tomoe changes her face to one of concern. "Ran?"

 

"I-in any case..." she feels the blood rushing to paint her cheeks, and she looks away before her tongue trips with every word she says again, crossing her arms in a lame attempt at making the heat in her face less unbearable. "That's not what bothers me."

 

Tomoe leans in, curious. "What bothers you then?"

 

Ran sighs, trying to find the subtlest way (although not really) to tell her. " _Sweetie_?" she spits every syllable in an almost condescending way. "Seriously?"

 

"Ah," she says, with a naiveté almost irritating, but then she laughs again, with a joy almost healing. "What do you want me to call you, then?"

 

She ponders the question. She fervently hates those nicknames-- corny, stupid and way too strange to hear them come out of Tomoe's mouth of all people. But she's not stopping anytime soon, and both know it all too well-- so what _does_  she want her to call her, if not with one of those terrible nicknames? It's... it's almost impossible just to think of one she even remotely tolerates. "Mm..."

 

"My sunshine? My sweetheart?" _Oh god_. It's gross—the amount of sugar that comes out of those words alone, and Ran _hates_  sugar, absolutely in any sense of the word. She looks at Tomoe again, not even sure if she's prepared for whatever stupid corniness she'll pull out next. "My precious flower?"

 

God-- no. That's enough. That's enough right there.

 

"J-just call me by my name, then...!" She covers her red-hot face with her hands-- she won't hear another one. _Idiot_. She hates how Tomoe manages to pinch her the bit of her cheek her fingers couldn't cover, pulling her face (which flush hadn't gotten any better) out its shelter.

 

"Alright, alright. Whatever you say, you bean."

 

Ran glares at her-- _bean_? She's what, 5 days older than her?

 

She sighs, all too tired to even try contradicting her. This is just how it's going to be, then...? "Just-- just shut up."

 

The door opens, loud music entering backstage, and when Marina comes in to tell them they're up next, Ran notices the nerves nagging her minutes ago, while still very much there, had somehow turned a lot less agressive now-- she wonders if it's thanks to Tomoe.

 

"I'm going in," she says, running up to the door leading to the stage, without first ruffling her hair affectionately. "Catch ya there!"

 

Watching her go out the door, Ran freezes on the spot, almost numbed by the ghost of her hand-- slight flush still in her cheeks and the soft pound of her heart looking at the stuffed bear on the ground. She does—she really loves her, and she wonders if she's even able to go and step on that stage, too many things overwhelming her at once. She crouches down, hesitantly picking up her lucky charm. Should she...

 

"Ran-chan?" Tsugumi's voice scrambles her to her feet and she quickly hides the object inside the pocket of her jacket. "Let's go, everyone's on stage already!"

 

"A-ah," stuttering, she tries to regain what little composure had at this point, and she hopes Tsugumi hadn't noticed. "Yeah, I'm coming."

 

(Maybe Ran would have stayed there the entire concert, had her thoughts finished eating her whole.)

 

* * *

 

 

**5.**

 

Ran isn't even surprised.

 

After all the stuff that's happened to her this week, walking back home with Tomoe really doesn't amuse her at this point—though she decides it's better not to think too much about how Moca seemingly had ' _things_ ' to do with Himari and Tsugumi _right_  after the gig.

 

"Man, today was pretty great~!" The shopping district is uncharacteristically quiet, she could almost indulge herself in the ambiance-- hadn't Tomoe broken the stillness. "Don't you think?"

 

Yet it doesn't bother her—maybe her energy was more comforting to her than anything. "It was..."

 

"Same as always?"

 

"Same as always."

 

She lets out a giggle, and she can't help the faint smile that grows on her face as well. Being with Tomoe is different, she's realized; she's probably not as used to it as she is with Moca, or it's not as lively as it is spending an evening with Himari, or not as calming as having a coffee with Tsugumi—but ever since (maybe much before) she put a name to all the things she felt, just having her by her side feels... nice.

 

She loves her, Ran reminds herself. They don't have any reason to hide it.

 

She turns her head to look at her, her words before the concert never leaving her mind. She's smiling, she's happy—just like Ran is with her. Yet she still feels the slightest of guilt-- can she tell? What if her stubbornness had given her the wrong idea? Does she look unhappy? Does Tomoe see it like that...?

 

Her eyes dart again to the ground. She hasn't been honest with herself at all...

 

"Um... Tomoe," she mumbles, not sure where to start.

 

"Yeah?"

 

Ran breathes in. It's still hard, after all—voicing her thoughts raw. "About... about what you told me earlier..." She hates how vague she sounds; she knows what they talked about, Tomoe knows what she's referring to, surely, but--

 

"Ah," but she doesn't have to say anything else-- Tomoe knows exactly what she's talking about, and Ran swallows hard. "Aha~, my choice of words kinda sucked, didn't it?" she giggles briefly, softly, and Ran swears she sees the ghost of her sad smile again. "Sorry, I... I didn't mean to make you feel bad."

 

"D-don't apologize!" There she is again-- clumsy verbalizing, poor attempts at being modest... She swallows again, taking a few seconds to regain control of herself. "It's just that... it got me thinking," she pauses. Is she taking this too seriously...? No-- she shakes her head. She needs to hear Tomoe's answer. "How... When do we plan on telling them...?"

 

"When we're both ready," she tells her-- too straightforward, Ran can't let herself feel at ease yet. That... doesn't really clear up her doubts. "I don't wanna force you to do anything you don't want to do."

 

She sighs. She knows what she means by that, but... "Still..."

 

Tomoe grabs her by the shoulder, holding her close-- Ran feels her heart race yet again. "I'm telling you, it's fine!" She looks back at her, and it's curious how that smile alone could unleash whole wonders, while relaxing her all at once. "The least I'd want is for you to be uncomfortable with me, you know?"

 

"Well..." she smiles, teasingly. "You can start by toning the nicknames down."

 

"Eeh?" Playing dumb again-- Ran beyond getting annoyed can only laugh. "You really don't like them?"

 

"Just what made you think I even liked them?" she asks between her giggles, and soon enough, Tomoe laughs with her too.

 

"I get it, I get it!" she admits, caressing her arm. "Less corny stuff, can do," Maybe this is what's nice about being with Tomoe—a happiness she can't name, something unique; just for the two of them. Maybe this is their same as always, Ran thinks, her smile widening. Tomoe grows that teasing smile on her face too, and her finger reaches to gently pinch her nose. "You can also tone down the violence a bit."

 

Ran snorts, self-aware—she hates how straightforward she is. "I mean, that... You know how I am."

 

"I understand," she says, sympathetic. "But now that we're supposed to be closer than ever, we should start acting as such, right?"

 

"...Right. I'll try, I guess," she promises, arms still pressed close, and the blood doesn't take long to run up to her cheeks once more. But she doesn't want to hide it, or think what she feels as merely annoying-- she rather welcomes it, like part of her—like the treasure Tomoe is. She leans her head on her shoulder, noticing how the streets around them look closer and closer to home.

 

They eventually stop, knowing too well this is where they part ways. But neither of them wanted to take that step-- the warmth on her chest had found a place of its own, she'll find herself missing it too much when she forces it to go. She looks at her, and Tomoe is looking at her too—she's sure it's the same for her. But she smiles, a smile so knowing and genuine-- she doesn't realize the exact moment she presses her lips against her cheeks, her heart already starting to race when she pulls away. "See you tomorrow, love."

 

 _Love_. The word bounces in her head to the rhythm of her heart, leaving Ran dumbfounded as she walks away and with the sole thought that, just maybe, would that be the only nickname she wouldn't mind too much hearing from her.

 

* * *

 

 

**+1.**

 

Her eyes still stare at the frets on her guitar, fingers still lingering over the strings. They're done now, Ran remembers, looking at the other 4 pack their instruments among friendly bickering—and she doesn't recall where time had gone playing and singing to her heart's content.

 

She pulls her phone out of her pocket to make sure, and she's not wrong to assume that the hours went by in the blink of an eye seeing the '5:02' marked on the clock of her lockscreen. 3 to 5, like always-- Ran didn't quite feel it like that.

 

"Ran," she hears Tomoe call across the room. "Don't forget to book the studio for wednesday."

 

Pulling her strap off her shoulder and searching for her guitar case, Ran makes a note to herself. "Just a moment, love."

 

... _Ah--_

 

It only takes her a fraction of a second to realize how big the slip-up that just escaped her lips had been, and she imagines how she would want the earth to swallow her when the entire studio gradually quiets down to a sepulchral silence. _Idiot_.

 

She slowly turns around, and their reactions are all exactly as she fears-- Tsugumi, eyes shot open, Himari's mouth seemingly reaching the ground, even Tomoe-- looking at her with a red on her face it almost spread to her neck. Moca is the one goddamn exception, her shit-eating grin only growing with every passing second. _Idiot, idiot, idiot--_

 

"Um, Ran...?" Himari speaks up, ripping away her only chance to disappear through the door. _Crap_. "Who do you mean by ' _love_ '...?"

 

This is it. There go her plans, Ran thinks, forced to explain it _all_  to them right there and then, so conveniently. But, when she sees Moca's smile widen like she's never seen before, scenarios of how would she want the earth to swallow her whole only turn more vivid.

 

"Hii-chan, isn't it obvious?" she says, and Ran starts to feel her soul physically leave her body. "With ' _love_ ', of course Ran means Tomo-chin~!"

 

(The scream Tomoe throws throughout the entire studio really says it all for Ran.)

 

" _Goddamnit, Moca!_ "

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> my storytelling skills were a hundred times better a year ago and i'm just letting that sink in
> 
> consider tomoran... im forever starved for content for these two please feed this poor lesbian ,


End file.
